The body in the bushes

Jessica (Miss 18) went for a walk before dinner as she usually does. She strolled through the bush/reserve at the end of the street and out the other side to a curvy street with beautiful mansions, but also reminiscence of drugs and parties at the start of the street where hoods come in their cars and hang out.
Rubbish everywhere from fast food joints, broken beer bottles and smoke butts everywhere.
She walked along the side of the road like she always does, admiring the beautiful houses, dreaming about living in one.. passing the reception center where she imagines having her own wedding reception at...
suddenly she is struck by this terrible stench. It's like garbage at first, so she keeps walking, thinking it's coming from the bins that she sees tucked away behind a fence of the reception place.
As she keeps walking, gusts of wind blows a stronger scent which she has never smelled before. She gets an eerie feeling when she sees drag marks in the dirt leading to bushes. She looks into the bushes and the smell is even stronger now.. so strong she dry heaves.

She rushes home and with images of dead bodies, wondering if someone was murdered by the drunken louts who left their mark down the end of the street.
When she tells me what she saw and smelled, she seemed so freaked out that I thought I would put her mind at ease and go back there with her.
I was sure at the worst, it would be a dead animal that may have been dragged off the road and hidden.

So heading through the bush and out the other side with Jessica leading the way, I enter the street and see the empty bottles and cans and rubbish. There are no cars around.. no people, just huge mansions that you would see in Hollywood. Maybe someone in the Mafia owns one of these houses.. I giggle at myself.. as if.
Then I get a slight change in the air.. a scent that is strange, but not like a dead animal.. or maybe it is, but I am so far away from the spot, that it's mixing with other smells, stopping me from making out exactly what it is.
I keep walking, the smell gets stronger and stronger.. every time a gust of wind passes it's stronger again..
Eventually we came to the bushy area with spiky twigs and teeny white flowers. It's dense and the smell is now powerful. I am dry heaving, it's got to be a dead something. At first I wonder if there is something dead in the drain, which is situated right in front of the bush. I try to look inside but it's too dark and there is no way I can lift the concrete slab. So I focus back to the bush and decide to pull the shrub open and peer through. I get images in my head.. the smell is making me see corpses. I truly start to believe that I will find a dead body. I walk along the edge of the shrub and every 2 feet, I pull the shrub open and look inside. I get to one section and with dread pull open the shrub.. a swarm of flies fly out and surround me. The smell is so heavy.. I see a mound. What is it? I look closer by bending my body forward and leaning in to the bush. I don't want to step inside. I am over come with fear and dread and a sick feeling.
The mound is large.. could easily be a body. It's long and wide and covered with dirt and twigs and flies.
I turn to Jessica and say.. I think you are right Jessica. This smell reminds me of death. There is something in there.
I have brought the cell phone just in case. I dial 000 wondering if that will work.. I think there may be a different number to ring from a cell....
someone answers
Emergency police fire or Ambulance?

Police please.

The call gets transferred and the operator says some code thing to someone else.. the other person speaks to me
Police, where is your emergency?
What State and town?

I tell her

What is your emergency?

I think I have found a dead body

Ok miss, can you give me your exact location?

I didn't know the name of the street and it was a very very long street and I didn't want to walk off on Jessica, but didn't want to lose the spot with the mound.
I tell her it's the street across from where the Steiner school is.
She says she can only see 1 school on the main road on her map.. The Basin Primary.

No I say, closer to Canterbury Rd.. it's called Ghilgai. There is a street across from it.. we are on that street..

Oh.. found it.. you are on Taninbomb Crescent (something like that). How far down are you?

In the middle at the bend.

Do you think it's male or female?

I don't know.. I don't even know if it's a body.. it's buried and stinks and is in bushes.

I start to dry heave and another gust of wind blows across.

hang tight Miss.. police are on their way. Don't touch anything.. it may ruin a crime scene.

I won't touch anything.. please hurry up, I don't want to be here.

Jessica and I wait across the road opposite the bush in an attempt to get away from the smell. We can't.. it's over powering.. We are both pinching our noses.. we let go occasionally and then dry heave.

I can't believe this is happening.. I'm a bit excited.. ok I am a LOT excited.. but am scared.. what if it's a child? What if the guy who just drove past and pulled into the long drive way at the mansion where the bush is located.. who just looked straight us, is a murderer?

I don't want to walk up to the house.. I just stay put.

I am standing next to Jessica,with pinched noses we are chatting about how cool and creepy this entire thing is.
I look at my phone.. I try to get on to the internet and tell my friends what is happening.. I am too shaky... bloody touch screen...arghhh..

I walk back over to the bush.. this is all just too out there.. it has to be my imagination running over time.. Jessica puts weird shit in my head..
I lean into the bush again.. mound is still there.. I stare at it a bit.. it's creepy and still.. and deliberately covered up... it's a body for sure...
I go to stand up.. the flowery bush brushes across my face.. the flowers either don't smell or... I wonder... I go and grab some of the bush and put my nose to the tiny white flowers.. they are firm and scratchy...
I see a police car out of the corner of my eye.

I step out to the road and wave them down. A male and female get out. What have you found?
Something in the bushes.. I point..
Can you smell that?

No they both say..

Jessica and I look at each other gobmsacked. We have been dry heaving.. but the police can't smell it. They have GOT to be kidding me.

They look in the bush the same way as me. The male says yep.. looks like one.. call back up.

Jessica and I look at each other. Excited.. not scared anymore because the police are here. We look on like we are watching an American cop mystery show like.. Law and Order or whatever.
Within 10 seconds another police car comes speeding down the road behind the other one. Two more police get out. One grey haired large man carries some metal stick thing.. with a hook.
He hands it to the other guy..
The woman gloves up.

The suspense is making my heart race.. I think I am smiling... I shouldn't be though.. but it's way cool.. I'm a sicko...
I ask the older guy if he can smell the stench.. wondering if Jessica and I are the only ones..
He said yes.. it smells like...
before he finished his sentence another cop who had quickly broken through the bushes and had been smashing and messing up the mound said.... ants nest.... huge one at that.
They all seemed really bummed.. as bummed as me.
But what is that smell?
The older cop says.. well see that bush?
Yeh...
There is one at my kids school.. we often wonder if there is something dead in that too.. they don't smell very pleasant.

I swear my face was burning I was so flushed with embarrassment.
I apologised and they were fine with it. They were glad I called.. the older guy said most of the time people just get scared and run off.
He said we did good.
I said, good.. thanks.. we are going to go home now..
Jessica and I both walked off... really really fast.. laughing our arses off..

We kept getting wafts of that smell every now and again.. we'd look over and see the same bloody bush.. the smell was those horrid little flowers in a type of shrub spread throughout the reserve.

Far out.. what an ordeal.. I wish we could have at least found a dead wombat.. road kill would have been better than a an ants nest and funky smelling flower.

The end

My hypothesis on why women shave their armpits and legs

I am doing an essay on feminism and have gone searching for other peoples views on why women in Western cultures shave their legs and armpits.
I have only found one hypothesis that matches my own (so far) which is really frustrating, as it wasn't from a reliable source (or one that would count in the eyes of the university), so I can't back up my own theory in my essay.

I will keep searching and perhaps someone reading this post my already know where this is written in stone.
So here it goes:

Men who reach puberty show as much by their facial and body hair. It gives them a sense of power over boys. They become Men and (in their eyes) protectors of meek frilly girls and women.
To symbolise the femininity of women as vulnerable and in need of a mans protection and power, men prefer a shaven woman which is prepubescent and child like in appearance. Like a boy, a shaven or feminine person is less powerful. I suppose women also subconsciously (those who believe they need to protection of a man even though evolution and changes in society have removed the need for large strong and violent men to protect women and children from wild beasts wanting to enter their caves), want to appear younger and more vulnerable to attract men to them.
I guess this means that hairy feminists who are strong and powerful make men feel insignificant or inadequate. What will they do with all of that testosterone if women are no longer desirable. Hairy women are too masculine you see. They must all be lesbians and man haters. They deliberately stay natural (yes nature intended for grown women to have body hair shock horror surprise surprise) just because they don't want to attract the opposite sex LOL this is going to halt reproduction if women gain equality. Shit.. the world will be doomed I say DOOOOOOOOOOOOMED!!!!
So we must, for the benefit of male domination over how women should look and act and for the continuity of society SHAVE!!!!

Anyone who disagrees is a man hater. Ask any Man.. they should know.. they know everything about women, heck we're not even allowed to birth without a mans guidance anymore. LOL


*disclaimer*
This post is packed full of sarcasm.. I don't think the world is doomed if women stop shaving and I don't believe this theory applies to modern society. I am just talking about the origins of women shaving.

Aiden's 4th birthday party

Aiden's birthday is today. We just had a little party with the family.
My Mum and Stepfather are overseas but we had Jon's parents, my sister inlaw (Aunty Karen), Maria and Necia over for lunch and to share some icecream cake.
I didn't have time to make a cake, so cheated and bought him one from our local ice-cream shop.
Although I am not a fan of superhero's, Aiden had been influenced somewhere and is infatuated by them. He's been wearing Spiderman and Batman costumes daily for a year now.
So, his cake had Spiderman on it.
When I picked it up from the shop, I was surprised to see how small it was. I paid $31 for it so expected it would atleast feed 12 of us, but when I got it, it looked like it wouldn't even feed 5 people.
So, I quickly slapped up 9 cupcakes just as everyone was arriving for lunch. They were iced and ready to eat by the time the candles were lit of the birthday cake, so it was great timing.
Turns out we have some cake left over in the freezer LOL

Aiden got some lovely pink plastic toys for his birthday. I have had so many comments over his presents being pink.. but as I keep stating.. pink is a colour not a gender and Aiden's penis isn't going to fall off if he plays with pink toys.
It's safe I promise.. he's been playing with his toys all day and I just checked.. penis is still attached.

The plastic..well I don't usually do plastic, but these things were just too awesome to pass up. He got the Aldi white goods which he has been asking for for months.
He now has a microwave, dishwasher, fridge, clothes dryer, Kenwood mixer and kitchen sink, complete with sounds and lights LOL

I like how he has placed each item next to the real thing. The dryer in the laundry, the microwave next to mine, the mixer on the kitchen bench where I normally use it, the sink and dishwasher and fridge on the floor of the kitchen infront of my sink.
I thought he would place it all in his cubby house but he prefers to 24 hour access to his toys so they stay in the house.

Enjoy the photos!!!!

For Karisma

I have been so busy with studies that I haven't had much spare time to blog, but seeing as Karisma is missing me, I felt obliged to post tonight LOL

So.. studies seem to be going well. I am on campus now which I totally love. I feel like a kid again.
I'm doing 4 units this semester:
Stats and research
Aboriginal Studies
Sociology
research communications.

Most of the other students have dropped a unit or two because the workload is full on, especially if you have a job or family. I have considered doing the same, but am wanting to finish my studies before I turn 70 LOL
I seem to be managing ok so far, but exams haven't started yet. I do ok with Essays but exams give me anxiety. Every week I have a test for atleast one of my units anyway, in preparation for the real thing. I'm getting above 80% in all of those.
Last night I sent in an Essay for research communications and Monday I am getting the results for my sociology essay.

I've been having a hard time with Breeze the last couple of weeks figuring out what action to take in regards to school. She can't stay at home on her own and I am not quitting uni. Call me selfish, but I am 35 and am finally doing something in my life that makes me feel worthy. I'm not giving that up. Breeze needs to learn how to socialize anyway and she can't do that hiding herself away at home (which is what she wants to do).
I had her assessed at a child and adolescent mental health service and they say she is still emotionally 3 years old. It's so true.. even tonight after going to Hungry Jacks for dinner (a once in a blue moon treat) she cried over not getting the toy she wanted and then when she got her toy she named it and played with it like a toddler. She will be 12 in February.
Studying is my respite. I have had a 3 year old for nearly 12 years. I have other children who need me also, and I am going to snap if I have to revolve my entire life around struggling to cope with them. They are the majority of my life and always will be most important, but I can't completely deprive myself for them anymore.
Like they say.. happy mother happy child... well in some aspects LOL

So until the end of the term (which is less than two weeks away anyway) Breeze is staying at the Steiner school. I nearly pulled her out and sent her mainstream but then thought harder about it. They know how to bully more in State schools. They are better at it and they will be strangers. Atleast the kids at Steiner know Breeze now.
She thinks that she will waltz in and be welcomed and all will be perfect.
So.. her teacher has made a deal with her. if she doesn't want to go into class she doesn't have to. She can go and help the founders teacher look after the little kiddies or she can go and hang out with her PE teacher.
Last week actually went really well. She hung out with the Founders on Monday and half of Tuesday but for the rest of the week was happy to stay in her own class.
She came home with her face painted on Thursday and Friday and when I asked her who did it, she said that kids in her class did. I said.. well see.. they are playing with you.. that's progress.
She said.. well they have to be nice or they will get into trouble.
Poor kid's self esteem is crushed :0(

So, on a happier note.. Aiden will be 4 in a week!!! My baby is no longer a baby *sobs*. I have a few prezzies stashed away in the shed. We aren't into plastic toys normally, but we couldn't resist the Aldi toy white goods. We got him a microwave, dishwasher, fridge, sink, BBQ, Vaccuum, clothes washer and a Kenwood. The play room is going to be totally decked out. I can't wait to play with his toys.. oh.. um.. I can't wait to give Aiden his toys LOL

No photos this week as the camera needs charging.

Aiden's new haircut

So Aiden finally allowed me to cut his hair today.
I sat him in a bar stool and it was the perfect height, but a swivel seat. It was quite hilarious chasing the chair in circles while cutting but Aiden enjoyed himself.
It will take a bit of getting used to his new look since his hair has been long for nearly 2 years now.

He's handsome no matter how he wears his there though ♥

Baking

So the first batch of cupcakes I did, I wanted to make them bright pink so used beetroot. They looked great but tasted..well.. bettrooty LOL
The kids weren't too thrilled.



So a few days later I had to bake something for Skye's class as they were having a market day. I went with just vanilla this time and made 20. The kids ate 5 that night and the next day at the market they sold out in 5 minutes LOL the kids were bummed they missed out at school.
Ah well, it's an easy recipe so I'll just make some more.
I went with an egg free recipe incase someone at the school had an egg allergy.. but it still had all the other stuff...wheat, gluten, sugar and dairy..ah well.
I used banana as the egg alternative and they tasted great, but a slightly stickier heavier texture.

Messing about

I found this funny site that you upload photo's on and mess with them.
I've had so much fun with it and I thought I would share my work rofl

So guess which one looks most like me haha














This is one I did of Breeze




Isn't the resemblance uncanny!!! LOL