My USA trip

My one and only trip to the US of A

As a kid I wanted to travel to the USA where the celebrities are. My desire grew less as I got older, but I have family over there on Mums side who I was desperate to meet and also a step sister and brother and other family members on my step fathers (Terry) side who live in the US who I wanted to see. Mum booked a holiday for me a year ago when I was pregnant but because I wasn't able to get travel insurance, it was cancelled. So, finally at the age of 38, with baby Oscar (10 months) in tow, I boarded the plane to America. My Step father had left a bit earlier than Mum and I, so when we arrived after a 17 hour flight, in LA, he picked us up in a hire car and drove us to the hotel in Sacramento where his kids live. It was the day after Christmas when we arrived.. funnily enough, we left Boxing day, so it was weird after such a long distance to arrive virtually the same day and time as we left.

 We didn't do much the first night. My step brother (Travis) came to the hotel to see us which was great. We got some take out Sushi and I went to sleep at around 9pm. The next day Terry stayed in bed. This was pretty much the theme for the entire 3 weeks. He in bed, Mum and I walking around shops with the baby until lunch time, go back to the hotel, get step father, put up with him stressing about the time and traffic until dinner time and then eat out, go back to hotel and go to bed exhausted from the emotional stress.

 Yes.. this is about to turn into a story about what could have been the most exciting 3 weeks of my life, turned into the most emotionally draining, uncomfortable, awkward 3 weeks I could have ever anticipated, courtesy of my asshat step father. If you don't like reading potentially self adsorbed negative seemingly ungrateful posts, then I suggest you close this page now.

 Before leaving for the USA people were asking what the plans were for New Years Eve and I was proud to say that I would be spending it in San Fransisco watching fireworks. Well, yes I was in San Fransisco, but I didn't see a single fire work. I spent it in the hotel room from 7pm. I knitted on the bed until around midnight and then turned off the light and went to sleep. Not my idea of a great night out. I would have preferred to be home in Melbourne with my children celebrating the way we do every other year, but I was stuck in a tiny hotel room with a view of nothing but walls of other buildings and the sound of excitement coming in the far distance where I could have been, had Terry not dragged us back to the hotel to avoid traffic.

Earlier that day we had gone to the wharf, eaten at Bubba Gump and wandered around the shops taking photos and having a wonderful time. Suddenly at around 6pm Terry starts getting antsy and rushing me out of the shops that I was trying to browse at my own leisure. I had no idea we were on a time limit. I asked him what he was in a rush for, what he had planned and he said he wanted to get back to the hotel to beat the traffic. I was taken back. I thought we were going to be there to watch the fireworks. I didn't realise we were about to leave. I told him I didn't want to leave and that traffic surely isn't such a big deal on NYE when we should be staying and enjoying ourselves. Well his reaction was typical of Terry. His arrogant response was just his personality. The way he speaks to my mother several times a day. Well you can stay here, but I am going to go back to the hotel. Ummm.. ok, I am in another country, I don't know how to get back let alone doing it on my own with a baby and stroller on the busiest night of the year. Obviously if he demanded we leave, that's what I have to do. So, that was that. YAY.

 So while we were in Sacramento I had a lovely time seeing Terry's family. After having dinner out to celebrate his daughter (Samantha's) 30th birthday, my Mum and Terry took Oscar back to the hotel to babysit while Sam, her husband Ryan and I went for a drink at the local pub. It was great. I was gone around 3 hours and when I got back to the hotel I was greeted with a distraught baby and an earful from my Mum who was obviously copping an earful from her tosser husband who was trying to sleep but couldn't because my Mum was unable to console Oscar.

Anyway, I settled him right away and when he fell asleep I started doing all of the washing and packing while Terry caught up on his beauty sleep. Of course even with his several hours of shut eye while Mum and I did all the work (me breastfeeding hourly too) he was still his usual arrogant ass the next day anyway. In the car when Oscar needed a nappy change Terry got shitty at having to pull over, telling us how we are on limited time. Like I am going to let my son sit in shit because Terry is inconvenienced *rolleyes* Whenever my Mum tried to speak to him he cut her off.. often just by putting his hand up.. she can only speak when spoken too.. his lordship is busy and can't be interrupted *pfff* what upsets me most about this situation is the fact that my Mum see's nothing wrong with it *vomit*

So then we go to San Diego. A beautiful hotel room. Such a lovely little city. We walked around for a little bit the first day there and then met up with his neice and went out for dinner at a Mexican restaurant. She was lovely, dinner was great, Oscar loved the music.. afterwards we went to the hotel and in the lobby I saw a ghost tour bus. I begged my Mum to babysit so I could go. It was only a 2 hour trip. She reluctantly agreed. Oscar was fine this time thank goodness.

On the way to San Diego we met up for lunch with an old friend of his he hadn't seen for 40 years. The plan was to see her, then go to the San Diego zoo with his sister the next day and meet up with some other family members for dinner at a place called DZ Aitkens (A famous Jewish restaurant which they love). The morning after we arrived however, his sister didn't feel like going to the zoo.. didn't want to get out of bed that early and had to run some errands. Personally I was looking forward to going to the zoo as many of the other plans made for the trip didn't come to fruition. So, he told his sister that Mum and I would prefer to go to the zoo than spend the day with her. Mum and I felt very awkward. He made it sound like we weren't keen on seeing her which was not true at all. So, he dropped us off at the zoo and ran errands with his sister instead of coming with us. He then picked us up at 2pm and we went back to the hotel so he could have a nap before going to dinner.

That night after dinner I was laying on the bed knitting and Terry asks me if I want to go to the cemetery with him the next day. I told him I don't mind going for an hour or two, but don't really feel like spending the day there. He said he didn't want a time limit and I said, then fine I won't go it's not like they will mind being dead and all..
To that he jumped up and stood over me when I was on the bed, with his fist up, yelling and spitting his froth from his mouth like a rabid dog. Saying how it's HIS holiday not mine and why should HE be on a time limit blah blah blah..

So it was decided that I wouldn't go, but as we would have to be checked out of the hotel room by 10am, it would mean that I would have to either wander around the streets with Oscar or sit in the lobby for some undisclosed amount of time because terry didn't want a time limit.
Turned out that he was back at the hotel room before check out anyway and he waltzed in all cheery like the night before never even happened.
Love being abused by an arrogant psycho and have my Mother side with him.. typical.

I wasn't going to speak to him for the rest of the trip.. which was another 10 days. But being one to rather avoid conflict and just build a bridge and enjoy myself as much as I can, I internally forgave him for his asshattery.. until the next day when he cut my Mum off from speaking because he was driving and she was interrupting his train of thought. I bit my tongue but my loathing was increasing by the minute.

So next stop was New Jersey to see my family. He was his usual arrogant arse at the airport but as soon as my second cousin was in sight, Terry had a Jekle and Hyde personality flip. Suddenly he was a happy go lucky guy. *puke*
He tried to keep this new persona up for the entire 3 days but he did let slip a few times.. usually when none of my family were in ear shot. One time was when my Mum went to ask him a question.. he put his hand up and shhh'd her. He was watching the football.. she was rudely interrupting again.
So, my beautiful cousins wanted to take us out for a day. They asked ME what I wanted to do. Finally someone bothered to ask ME. So I said I wanted to see the memorial.. obviously Terry didn't think that would be a good idea, but Gary seemed to not really be swayed by Terry's opinion.. bless him ♥
Terry wanted me to see the Empire state building.. which I was happy to see, but from the ground as I am afraid of heights. He told me I may as well google photos then. When I said I wanted to see the Statue of Liberty I was told I could see that on any post card. So, other than the 911 memorial and a pizza shop, that was all I would have seen in New York had I not been so selfish as to beg them to look after Oscar so I could take myself to see a show on Broadway. I was told that I was selfish and rude etc that I could see Wicked in Melbourne yada yada that I shouldn't have had 5 kids and it was my choice to so I shouldn't complain that I won't be able to come to the USA again and I don't get time for shows in Australia.
Anyway, it was my last night, I wasn't going to miss out because of him again. I had already missed out on Universal studios, Statue of Liberty, NYE celebrations etc etc
Of course, he didn't want to walk me there or back, so I went with a map on my own through the streets of New York in the middle of the night. He gave me a phone incase I got mugged.. of course if I was mugged they would have let me keep the cell phone.

So that was my trip away. I got back home and within 3 days terry and Mum are posting photos of their time at Disney World and Universal studios in Florida. Terry having a great time on rides etc seemingly pain free and full of energy. Fancy that.
I on the other hand have a fever, abscess in my mouth, cyst under my armpit, blocked sinuses, which the doctor thinks is possibly swine flu and I also have carpel tunnel just to add to my discomfort.

I would post photos, but they are all faux. Terry was sure to take a photo of me outside universal studios to make it look like we went in.. we didn't though. It looks like I went to Disney world.. they were just people dressed up at Sponge Bob and Chewbecca etc on the streets of New York. They charged $5 to take a photo of them. Terry was in bed.. he only got out of bed to eat, go to the bar or see family.

They are holidaying in the USA for another 6 weeks. They will visit 6 months out of the year every year from now on. I figured my holiday would be of some importance being that it was only for 3 weeks and once off. I felt like I was intruding on their holiday.. in fact I was TOLD that. Anyway.. home now. I am grateful to my Mum for trying to give me the holiday of my dreams. I will never forgive Terry for ruining it. As far as I am concerned, I will never speak to him again.

Home labor c-section

On Friday the 24th of Feb, my doula had come over to be with me for my midwife home visit after spending 3 nights in early labour which seemed to be going nowhere. I wanted my cervix checked to see if I had progressed any, but without a previous VE we had nothing to compare to anyway.
My Midwife reluctantly checked my cervix and found me to be 2-3cm’s with a very “ripe” soft and stretchy cervix.. I was going to have this baby sometime this decade.
After she left, my doula came out for dinner with the family to an Italian place called Stallions. I went straight to the toilet while the others were being seated at a table. After my pee, I stood up, pulled up my undies and then I felt a gush.. followed by 2 more gushes…
I was so excited to finally feel my waters break spontaneously at the right time of pregnancy for a healthy birth. I was sure this was my for-waters rather than hind-waters, because unlike 2 weeks beforehand, I was feeling gushes rather than trickles.
I was overcome with excitement and for the first time in months, I craved a cigarette. Obviously I didn’t smoke one, but I do remember saying I wish I could and wondering why I suddenly wanted something I hate so much.
So the wait started..
With all the others my waters were broken and promptly followed by a baby, so after waiting hours expecting to push a baby out at any moment, I was very surprised that contractions hadn’t even started. My Doula, Athena lives an hour away and doesn’t drive, so I was reluctant to send her home, believing that if she left, I would go into labour and she wouldn’t make it back in time. Athena felt the same so decided to stay until a baby was born no matter how long it took.
Over the weekend, I suffered the same early labour contractions as the previous nights.. mild contractions every few minutes with the odd strong one, always between midnight and 5am and then fizzling out. I had finally decided to accept that these contractions were all just a nightly event which wasn’t to lead to anything significant. On Saturday the 25th I went and saw a Chinese herbalist who gave me acupuncture to get things going. I had a few strong contractions that morning but nothing regular. The acupuncture didn’t work and the next day when I phoned her to book another session, she told me not only was she tied up with a sick horse, but after 2 days of no labour and ROM, I should go to the hospital and get a c-section.. the baby was obviously stuck and not coming. I rolled my eyes and found her comment ridiculous. My midwife’s biggest concern was infection and she wasn’t even really worried about that unless I showed symptoms.. which we were checking constantly.

Sunday the 26th was a scorcher and it was the day the spa pump was finally fixed.. great timing as Athena’s husband and 4 year old daughter had come to spend the day with us. The children loved splashing in the cool spa. Athena and I had made a red velvet birthday cake to “entice” the baby out (I was craving red velvet cake, but we joked that the only thing to entice the baby out would be a breastmilk filled menstrual pad in my pants).
The cake was delicious and scoffed off within minutes of finishing dinner.

Monday the 27th there was a local sling meet organised which I didn’t intend on going to at first as it was 3 days past my EDD, but for some reason, I had an urge to keep myself busy and felt fine to go to it. The meet went well and afterwards, Athena and I (and baby Nell) went to Eastlands shopping mall for a while and then to Spotlight. I was pretty tired when I got back, but I still managed to go grocery shopping.
After the kids went to bed Athena and I sat down and watched a movie. There was a girl in the movie who reminded Athena of her daughter and she suddenly felt very down and had a strong urge to be back home with her family. It was decided that first thing in the morning I would get her home and if she is meant to be at the birth it will happen somehow.
At around midnight I went to bed. I was laying there thinking.. I should go to the hospital tonight.. I didn’t know why, but I just felt I needed to go there. I kind of brushed the thought off as something to do with rushing labour so Athena could be there before going home. I rolled over to get comfy and doze.
Within minutes I had a really powerful contraction. It was so strong that I felt this pop, like something was “breaking” inside me on the left above my hip. I laid there wondering what on Earth it was.. there was no gush of fluid but I had a sudden urge to poo and wondered if I had broken my intestines lol So I got up and went to the toilet and did the biggest poo of my life. I went back to bed and was hit by another strong contraction and decided this was finally IT!!!!

I phoned Athena because I didn’t know if she was upstairs or down stairs and I felt that if I went looking for her I may end up not making it into the pool. I wanted her to fill it before I got moving. I then phoned my midwife and she was at another birth saying she wouldn’t be able to make it for at least a couple of hours. She offered to send her back up but I was reluctant to have a midwife who I haven’t met, attend my homebirth. I told her I would just freebirth unless she arrived before baby was born.
Being that I was freebirthing now, I decided that it would be best to not call any of my other support people including my mother as they may feel forced into a situation they didn’t intent to be in. I didn’t want people at my birth who were afraid of the process without a midwife.
When the pool was filled Athena called me down. I think it was around 12:30am. I had a few more contractions and was a bit worried about them fizzling out again. I was worried the water may slow things down so I held off hopping in for another 15 minutes or so.
Once in the water, I was happily surprised to find that not only did the contractions not slow, but they picked up!!! Baby Nell (Athena’s 13 month old daughter) woke up and Athena put her in a sling. Nell became a teeny doula. Skye woke up also and came in to take photos with Jon. At around 1am I asked Jon and Skye to leave the room and chill until it was time to push. I believed that being baby number 5 and having so much pre labour etc, that it wasn’t going to be long at all until I started pushing.
At around 2am after breathing through contractions in the pool, I felt the urge to push. The contractions were very powerful and the bearing down urge was something I couldn’t stop. I pulled off my bather bottoms and Athena went and called Jon and Skye in. Aiden woke up to the call too and joined them both in my birth space. Well the pushing continued.. and continued and continued.

Every contraction felt like it was going to bring baby down.. it would come, I would push and my bladder would empty. I was waiting to feel him in my vagina but he wasn’t moving down. I was even asking him where he was during each contraction and calling him down. COME DOWN BABY COME DOWN BABY!!!
I moved around in the pool splashing, changing positions, kicking, swaying breathing, pushing…
Athena would apply counter pressure on my sacrum during each contraction and it felt sooo good. It took the edge off the pain and really helped me to slow down the pushing urge and to increase the breathing. Whenever she had to attend to Nell, she would get Jon or Aiden to take over. I have the most beautiful photos of Aiden and Jon sharing counter pressure duties.
As the hours passed, the pushing urges and pain became unbearable. It felt like transition. I felt as though if the baby didn’t come with the next contraction, then I could possibly die. It was with these thoughts that I decided that Jon could phone my Mum as baby would be here by the time she arrived. She only lives 20 minutes away. It was around 5am at this time and already a much longer labour than any of us anticipated.
Sometime before my Mum arrived I felt inside my vagina to check where baby was. I wasn’t sure what I was feeling.. it wasn’t what I should have been feeling for someone minutes off having a baby. It felt like a big hard lump cm’s in, but it was covered with thick soft flesh. It felt like my bladder was in front of the baby and it was being pushed into my vagina, collapsing my vaginal wall with it. It was then that I desperately wanted a midwife to check me and tell me what was going on. I was not comfortable freebirthing now. Things were NOT feeling as they should have been. I asked Athena to call my midwife back and ask her to send the back up if she couldn’t come right away. It took what seems like hours (but only around 20 minutes) for her to reply saying the back up would be an hour.
My mother then arrived and I thought I would try to hold out for the back up midwife and I would try my best to not push until I felt a baby in my vagina without a doubt. I didn’t know what to do with myself when the contractions hit. I would moan and scream through some.. pant through others, thrash around in the water.. cry, moan more..yell more…
I became desperate, I needed to know what was happening.. I couldn’t wait any longer.. it was around 6:30am by now and there was no midwife in sight. I asked Jon to phone an ambulance. He thought for sure the next contraction would bring me a baby so he held off.. a few more contractions and I asked him if he had called.. Athena kept asking if I was sure.. she reminded me of the fact that I really wanted a homebirth. I decided I didn’t want a freebirth, so if that means transferring then that’s what I wanted. I told her I didn’t want to be home anymore. If I birthed the baby before transferring then great, but I didn’t want to wait any longer to call them.
Another 2 contractions hit and I asked if Jon had called and when he said no I lost it. I called him a f*** ignorant d***head and asked if he wanted a dead wife and baby!!! It was then that he and Athena both sensed that something was seriously wrong and that I had picked up on it. They believed finally that I had to transfer now.
Jon phoned the ambulance and they arrived around 10 minutes later. I was screaming for the green stick or any pain relief. They transferred me to the ambulance naked with just my wet black bra on. I didn’t care.. I just wanted to be at the hospital to know what the heck was going on.
We arrived at around 7am and my B/P was checked first. It was 170/120 there was some panic about that.. they said I had Eclampsia.. they gave me medication to lower my B/P and handed me the happy gas… which really didn’t help at all. The pain was far too strong for anything to help now. Each contraction was pushing my bladder into my pubic bone. I was in absolute agony… nothing I had ever felt before.
The OB came in to check the position of the baby. He said the baby had to come out right away but he didn’t know how to proceed until he knew which position he was dealing with. He put his hand in and felt my cervix.. a contraction started and I tensed up.. he pulled his fingers out and pulled his gloves off throwing them in the bin saying how I wouldn’t let him check properly. I told him me tensing up was from the contraction and involuntary and that I was happy for him to check between contractions. He asked me why I decided to homebirth.. while I was writhing in agony and screaming and thrashing around on the hospital bed.
Athena asked him if that question was appropriate right now.. he said no and then said he would get the ultrasound machine to check the position. Turns out the baby was in an oblique transverse lie. Basically his head was in my left hip (where I felt the pop and something breaking) and his shoulder was being forced into my bladder. First thing was to empty my bladder to see if it helped give him more room to reposition himself. They put in a catheter and 500 mils came out… 3 times more than the average. I felt some relief during the contractions now but he wasn’t moving. The next plan was to give me an epidural in surgery and break my waters. There was a very high risk of cord prolapse so they wanted me prepped for a c-section for just in case. I was skeptical and asked Athena to contact my midwife. She agreed that the risk of cord prolapse was high and they weren’t just being knife happy.
I asked for a pethidine as it was now around 8:30am and I was ready to allow them to just cut him out to end my misery. The Pethidine did take the edge off and helped the gas to work a bit better.. but I was still moaning and occasionally screaming during contractions.
I was taken down to the waiting bay in surgery. I now had no gas to suck on and the peth was wearing off. I began screaming in pain again and begging for the epidural which seemed to be taking for ever. The nurse there kept telling me they were busy with another patient and I had to just wait another few minutes… of course they kept saying that every 10 minutes for hours.
The anaesthetist walked in and I swore asking her when she was going to do the f*** epidural. The nurse called out from the next cubicle.. well there’s no epidural at a homebirth is there!?!?! Athena said, there no transverse babies at a homebirth either and that I had been in transition waiting for an epidural for hours. Another nurse came to me and supported me.. I was screaming for them to just cut him out now and she kept reminding me that I wanted to birth as naturally a possible as the healing time would be shorter.. if it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t have sat through 2 epidural attempts which both failed.
While laying on the operating table, after being shaved, another catheter inserted, liquid poured onto my belly and a thick heavy mask forced onto my face, I burst into tears. Athena was next to me crying also.. I was about to have my first c-section.. 5th child, failed homebirth. I wasn’t even going to be awake. I was going to miss his birth altogether. I wouldn’t see him covered in vernix.. I wouldn’t hear his first cry.. I wouldn’t feel him come out.. I wouldn’t feel the emotions a mother gets when they first lay eyes on their baby…
I went to sleep sobbing
I woke up in recovery and asked to see my baby. He wasn’t there. They said I was very sick and had a seizure while under.. or just waking (not sure). They said he was big and beautiful.. but had breathing problems and was in NICU in an incubator. There wasn’t even a photo for me to look at. I was crying and just asking for him over and over. When they took me out of recovery, I was told I was too sick to go and see him. Jon showed me a photo. Athena had been the first to hold him and she told me how beautiful he was. I was crying.. I wanted to see my baby. Hours passed and a shift change happened. The next midwife took me in my bed to the NICU to see him. He was in a box.. I could hardly get my arm in to touch him because it was bandaged up too thick to fit through the hole. They wanted to give him formula because he had low blood sugar. I refused..
I wanted to feed him but they said it would keep him in the humidicrib longer. They gave him glucose for his blood sugar through an IV. It was 12 hours before he was brought to me for his first cuddle. I didn’t want it to end. I fed him and smelled him and cuddled him… I cried when they took him away again 20 minutes later. I cried until Wednesday afternoon when he was finally allowed to stay in my room with me.
I developed a chest infection and every cough was agony. I was exhausted and falling asleep almost dropping Oscar each time. The nurses claimed he had lost too much weight.. they didn’t counter in the fact he wasn’t fed for the first 12 hours of his life. I took him home Friday morning.. 2 days before they recommended.. we won’t look back now.
Oscar was born at 11:01am on the 28th of Feb.. sharing his birthday with his big sister. He weighed 8Ibs 10 oz’s . I didn’t get to keep his placenta and make placenta pills. I didn’t get to use the sweet red cord tie I had made him weeks before he was born. I didn’t get to smell his newborn smell because he was cleaned and suctioned before I saw him.
I want to be pregnant still.. I want to reverse time and do things differently.. I have no idea what I would need to change for a better outcome.. but when I was pregnant I still had dreams of a homebirth.. those dreams are now gone forever. I will enjoy every moment with my precious little man for the rest of my life. If he wasn’t here to distract me, I think the trauma would be too hard to survive.

Trudy Trike and rainbow socks

So I went out for a ride on Trudy today to the local store for some groceries.
I had many people toot their horns and make comments about my cool wheels. Surprisingly they were all from men LOL even some young laddies said they want trikes now.
It may have been my awesome rainbow socks drawing attention though as they are very eye catching LOL

So I am very unfit and was huffing and puffing on the way home with my basket full of groceries. My back was aching, the tops of my legs, my chest was tight and my ARSE!!!

I guess the main thing is I saved at least $4 on petrol taking her out. Every time I tough it out I save more money. So frugal is I.
Oh and and I'm awesomely cool :-P

I want to ride my tricycle

I'm going to be a coolest Mumma in town soon. Well I'll think I'm cool, everyone else will just laugh at me LOL
The benefits are, exercise, saving petrol but most of all, being uber awesome!!!

I'm so excited.

Been a while

Sorry I haven't blogged in so long, I've been too busy deleting Asian porn spam from the comments in my last post.
Which words attracts them do you think... Body or Bushes? LOL

The body in the bushes

Jessica (Miss 18) went for a walk before dinner as she usually does. She strolled through the bush/reserve at the end of the street and out the other side to a curvy street with beautiful mansions, but also reminiscence of drugs and parties at the start of the street where hoods come in their cars and hang out.
Rubbish everywhere from fast food joints, broken beer bottles and smoke butts everywhere.
She walked along the side of the road like she always does, admiring the beautiful houses, dreaming about living in one.. passing the reception center where she imagines having her own wedding reception at...
suddenly she is struck by this terrible stench. It's like garbage at first, so she keeps walking, thinking it's coming from the bins that she sees tucked away behind a fence of the reception place.
As she keeps walking, gusts of wind blows a stronger scent which she has never smelled before. She gets an eerie feeling when she sees drag marks in the dirt leading to bushes. She looks into the bushes and the smell is even stronger now.. so strong she dry heaves.

She rushes home and with images of dead bodies, wondering if someone was murdered by the drunken louts who left their mark down the end of the street.
When she tells me what she saw and smelled, she seemed so freaked out that I thought I would put her mind at ease and go back there with her.
I was sure at the worst, it would be a dead animal that may have been dragged off the road and hidden.

So heading through the bush and out the other side with Jessica leading the way, I enter the street and see the empty bottles and cans and rubbish. There are no cars around.. no people, just huge mansions that you would see in Hollywood. Maybe someone in the Mafia owns one of these houses.. I giggle at myself.. as if.
Then I get a slight change in the air.. a scent that is strange, but not like a dead animal.. or maybe it is, but I am so far away from the spot, that it's mixing with other smells, stopping me from making out exactly what it is.
I keep walking, the smell gets stronger and stronger.. every time a gust of wind passes it's stronger again..
Eventually we came to the bushy area with spiky twigs and teeny white flowers. It's dense and the smell is now powerful. I am dry heaving, it's got to be a dead something. At first I wonder if there is something dead in the drain, which is situated right in front of the bush. I try to look inside but it's too dark and there is no way I can lift the concrete slab. So I focus back to the bush and decide to pull the shrub open and peer through. I get images in my head.. the smell is making me see corpses. I truly start to believe that I will find a dead body. I walk along the edge of the shrub and every 2 feet, I pull the shrub open and look inside. I get to one section and with dread pull open the shrub.. a swarm of flies fly out and surround me. The smell is so heavy.. I see a mound. What is it? I look closer by bending my body forward and leaning in to the bush. I don't want to step inside. I am over come with fear and dread and a sick feeling.
The mound is large.. could easily be a body. It's long and wide and covered with dirt and twigs and flies.
I turn to Jessica and say.. I think you are right Jessica. This smell reminds me of death. There is something in there.
I have brought the cell phone just in case. I dial 000 wondering if that will work.. I think there may be a different number to ring from a cell....
someone answers
Emergency police fire or Ambulance?

Police please.

The call gets transferred and the operator says some code thing to someone else.. the other person speaks to me
Police, where is your emergency?
What State and town?

I tell her

What is your emergency?

I think I have found a dead body

Ok miss, can you give me your exact location?

I didn't know the name of the street and it was a very very long street and I didn't want to walk off on Jessica, but didn't want to lose the spot with the mound.
I tell her it's the street across from where the Steiner school is.
She says she can only see 1 school on the main road on her map.. The Basin Primary.

No I say, closer to Canterbury Rd.. it's called Ghilgai. There is a street across from it.. we are on that street..

Oh.. found it.. you are on Taninbomb Crescent (something like that). How far down are you?

In the middle at the bend.

Do you think it's male or female?

I don't know.. I don't even know if it's a body.. it's buried and stinks and is in bushes.

I start to dry heave and another gust of wind blows across.

hang tight Miss.. police are on their way. Don't touch anything.. it may ruin a crime scene.

I won't touch anything.. please hurry up, I don't want to be here.

Jessica and I wait across the road opposite the bush in an attempt to get away from the smell. We can't.. it's over powering.. We are both pinching our noses.. we let go occasionally and then dry heave.

I can't believe this is happening.. I'm a bit excited.. ok I am a LOT excited.. but am scared.. what if it's a child? What if the guy who just drove past and pulled into the long drive way at the mansion where the bush is located.. who just looked straight us, is a murderer?

I don't want to walk up to the house.. I just stay put.

I am standing next to Jessica,with pinched noses we are chatting about how cool and creepy this entire thing is.
I look at my phone.. I try to get on to the internet and tell my friends what is happening.. I am too shaky... bloody touch screen...arghhh..

I walk back over to the bush.. this is all just too out there.. it has to be my imagination running over time.. Jessica puts weird shit in my head..
I lean into the bush again.. mound is still there.. I stare at it a bit.. it's creepy and still.. and deliberately covered up... it's a body for sure...
I go to stand up.. the flowery bush brushes across my face.. the flowers either don't smell or... I wonder... I go and grab some of the bush and put my nose to the tiny white flowers.. they are firm and scratchy...
I see a police car out of the corner of my eye.

I step out to the road and wave them down. A male and female get out. What have you found?
Something in the bushes.. I point..
Can you smell that?

No they both say..

Jessica and I look at each other gobmsacked. We have been dry heaving.. but the police can't smell it. They have GOT to be kidding me.

They look in the bush the same way as me. The male says yep.. looks like one.. call back up.

Jessica and I look at each other. Excited.. not scared anymore because the police are here. We look on like we are watching an American cop mystery show like.. Law and Order or whatever.
Within 10 seconds another police car comes speeding down the road behind the other one. Two more police get out. One grey haired large man carries some metal stick thing.. with a hook.
He hands it to the other guy..
The woman gloves up.

The suspense is making my heart race.. I think I am smiling... I shouldn't be though.. but it's way cool.. I'm a sicko...
I ask the older guy if he can smell the stench.. wondering if Jessica and I are the only ones..
He said yes.. it smells like...
before he finished his sentence another cop who had quickly broken through the bushes and had been smashing and messing up the mound said.... ants nest.... huge one at that.
They all seemed really bummed.. as bummed as me.
But what is that smell?
The older cop says.. well see that bush?
Yeh...
There is one at my kids school.. we often wonder if there is something dead in that too.. they don't smell very pleasant.

I swear my face was burning I was so flushed with embarrassment.
I apologised and they were fine with it. They were glad I called.. the older guy said most of the time people just get scared and run off.
He said we did good.
I said, good.. thanks.. we are going to go home now..
Jessica and I both walked off... really really fast.. laughing our arses off..

We kept getting wafts of that smell every now and again.. we'd look over and see the same bloody bush.. the smell was those horrid little flowers in a type of shrub spread throughout the reserve.

Far out.. what an ordeal.. I wish we could have at least found a dead wombat.. road kill would have been better than a an ants nest and funky smelling flower.

The end

My hypothesis on why women shave their armpits and legs

I am doing an essay on feminism and have gone searching for other peoples views on why women in Western cultures shave their legs and armpits.
I have only found one hypothesis that matches my own (so far) which is really frustrating, as it wasn't from a reliable source (or one that would count in the eyes of the university), so I can't back up my own theory in my essay.

I will keep searching and perhaps someone reading this post my already know where this is written in stone.
So here it goes:

Men who reach puberty show as much by their facial and body hair. It gives them a sense of power over boys. They become Men and (in their eyes) protectors of meek frilly girls and women.
To symbolise the femininity of women as vulnerable and in need of a mans protection and power, men prefer a shaven woman which is prepubescent and child like in appearance. Like a boy, a shaven or feminine person is less powerful. I suppose women also subconsciously (those who believe they need to protection of a man even though evolution and changes in society have removed the need for large strong and violent men to protect women and children from wild beasts wanting to enter their caves), want to appear younger and more vulnerable to attract men to them.
I guess this means that hairy feminists who are strong and powerful make men feel insignificant or inadequate. What will they do with all of that testosterone if women are no longer desirable. Hairy women are too masculine you see. They must all be lesbians and man haters. They deliberately stay natural (yes nature intended for grown women to have body hair shock horror surprise surprise) just because they don't want to attract the opposite sex LOL this is going to halt reproduction if women gain equality. Shit.. the world will be doomed I say DOOOOOOOOOOOOMED!!!!
So we must, for the benefit of male domination over how women should look and act and for the continuity of society SHAVE!!!!

Anyone who disagrees is a man hater. Ask any Man.. they should know.. they know everything about women, heck we're not even allowed to birth without a mans guidance anymore. LOL


*disclaimer*
This post is packed full of sarcasm.. I don't think the world is doomed if women stop shaving and I don't believe this theory applies to modern society. I am just talking about the origins of women shaving.